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  • Roping a Deer

    Roping A Deer ...(Names have been removed to protect the stupid!)

    Actual Letter from someone who writes, and farms.

    I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
    feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

    The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
    since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have
    much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come
    right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the
    truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get
    up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie
    it and transport it home.

    I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
    The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.
    They were not having any of it.

    After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out
    a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and
    threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

    I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would
    have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but
    you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

    I took a step towards it... it took a step away. I put a little
    tension on the rope and then received an education.

    The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
    there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to
    action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
    The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
    stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range
    I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no

    That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
    controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me
    off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred
    to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as
    I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have
    as much stamina as many other animals.

    A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to
    jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me
    a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the
    blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had
    lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil
    creatu re off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go
    with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and
    painfully somewhere.

    At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At
    that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the
    feeling was mutual.

    Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
    cleverly arrested The deer's momentum by bracing my head against
    various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could
    still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a
    small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for
    the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it
    suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between
    my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...
    kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I
    started moving up so I could get my rope back .

    Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years
    would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very
    surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer
    grabbed hold of my wrist..

    Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse
    where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and
    shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

    The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze
    and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My
    method was ineffective.

    It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes,
    but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer
    (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.

    While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I
    reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was
    when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

    Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
    their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and
    their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

    I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse
    --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily,
    the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an
    aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to
    back down a bit so you can escape.

    This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery
    would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a
    different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

    The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
    horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will
    hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from
    ho rses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil,
    because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of
    the head and knocked me down.

    Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
    immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger
    has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and
    down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and
    covering your head.

    I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

    So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle
    with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the prey.
    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste
    like chicken...

    My 44" oven in progress...

  • #2
    Re: Roping a Deer

    That would have ben a sight to see.

    Had you had some mates around, they would have probably been rolling around in fits of laughter, unable to come to your assistance.
    I would have thought that a dragon would be no match for a deer!
    I guess by now that you will go to the local gourmet butcher for your venison!

    Hope you come good soon.

    Prevention is better than cure, - do it right the first time!

    The more I learn, the more I realise how little I know

    Neillís Pompeiii #1
    Neillís kitchen underway


    • #3
      Re: Roping a Deer

      This was an email sent to me lol. But I could picture that being me while reading it. Sounds like something I would try, but giving it a second thought now.
      Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste
      like chicken...

      My 44" oven in progress...