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  • Old Bastards

    An old bastard couple pulls up to a service station in Ashburton:

    Attendant: How may I help you?

    Old Bloke: Please fill it up.

    Old Shelia: What did he say?

    Old Bloke [yelling]: He asked what we wanted and I told him to fill it up.

    Attendant: So, where are you heading?

    Old Bloke: To Timaru to see our Grandchildren.

    Old Shelia: What did he say?

    Old Bloke[yelling]: He asked where we're going. I told him we're going to see the Grand kids.

    Attendant: It sure is a nice day for a drive.

    Old Bloke: Yes, it's been quite pleasant.

    Old Shelia: What did he say?

    Old Bloke[yelling]: He said its good weather.

    Attendant: Where are you coming from?

    Old Bloke: We started our trip from Nelson.

    Old Shelia: What did he say?

    Old Bloke [yelling]: He asked where we're from and I said Nelson.

    Attendant: I dated a girl from Nelson once. She wouldn't shut up and was lousy in bed.

    Old lady: What did he say?

    Old Man [yelling]: He says he knows you
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