Need Advice about wife

[countryboy]

Re: Need Advice about wife

Gene,

Offer to sell the boat to fund the project. Frees up yard/drive space. One less thing to worry about and look like a hero/financial genius!

My 2?...

[yana]

Re: Need Advice about wife

(About the wife situation, not the coffee beans)

I understand your frustration, but it doesn't seem that helpful for both of you to dig in your heels. Sure, you are getting lots of advice telling you that you are right and to stick to your guns - and I bet your wife is hearing the same things from her support group. It feels good to hear that the other one is crazy - but in the end you still have to live together and figure out how to make it work.

Have you tried to sit down and really UNDERSTAND what her concerns are, and maybe what the underlying issues are with it? To listen with sympathy for her emotions around it instead of going into defensive mode? What does this oven mean to you? What is it that you love about the idea? The joy of building it? How it will look in the yard? Looking forward to hanging out with friends and proudly making pizza? Can you explain to her what your dream looks like and why it is important to you?

And then the hard part: Can you try to understand what HER vision is, for the yard, how she pictures hanging out with friends, what is it SHE would like to see? If it's an aestetic issue, how can you make it so both of you think it looks charming? If it's the social part, where can you compromise so the event sounds fun to her, too? Is there anything that she loves cooking that the oven would work for? (Bread, roasting vegetables, etc) The best way to achieve a resolution is by showing her that you CARE about what she wants, that you WANT it to something that works for both of you. You might find that there is more overlap than you think...

Anyways, good luck, I know how difficult these situations are...

[mustbecrazy]

Re: Need Advice about wife

yana,Thank you for your advice. You are exactly correct in that there is underlying issues. Which I understand. My wife thinks I work too much already. I build stuff all day long. (and long days too) I love it, but do get tired. Over the years I have learned to make lots of things and when I see something cool, like a WFO, I think I can do that. Plus, I have an interest in cooking, I don't have time to cook but I am interested in it never the less.
So far I have not made a big issue of the WFO, just preparing my arguments and testing the water to objections. The way I see it the benefits need to be for both of us not just my whim. Bottom line: If I decide to build the oven I am going to build it and I won't decide to build it unless my wife is ok with it.

PS.Your insight is really good. You must be a marriage councilor.Thanks Gene

[mustbecrazy]

Re: Need Advice about wife

Gene,

Offer to sell the boat to fund the project. Frees up yard/drive space. One less thing to worry about and look like a hero/financial genius!

My 2?...

Cb, are you nuts? Sure I haven't used the boat for three years. But selling it would be going backwards. If that's what it takes to look like a hero/financial genius count me out.Did Warren Buffet have to sell his boat? NO! Did Batman have to sell his boat? NO! Robin, the boy wonder, maybe sold his boat, because nobody has ever seen it, but maybe that's why he's not the main man. Besides which boat are you talking about? The fishing boat, the drift boat, the sailboat, the canoe, or the inflatable? You surely aren't suggesting that I sell all of them? You WFO people really are a bunch of fanatics. What really is that green stuff you put on top of those pizzas?:
Thanks for the idea none the less. Gene.

[leckig]

Re: Need Advice about wife

I always use this one to good effect:

OK then, I will start hanging out in bars full of loose women since I have nothing else to do.

if this does not work, I dont know what would!!!

[fxpose]

Re: Need Advice about wife

My wife actually likes my oven now, now that it's starting to look shapely and pretty. One of her women friends even thought it looked sexy. I can see why. It even cooks well and she likes that part too.

[dmun]

Re: Need Advice about wife

Robin, the boy wonder, maybe sold his boat, because nobody has ever seen it, but maybe that's why he's not the main man.

I think Robin pretty much gets what he wants.

[mustbecrazy]

Re: Need Advice about wife

Dmun, you mean Robin...oh I get it..I never thought that..well you know..it's just that..well oh just forget it. I'm keeping the dang boats I don't care what Robin does.
Gene P.S.Your Geodesic oven is great.. I am really surprised that your adhesive/mortar
held up so well to cutting. Beautiful job. Gene.

[mustbecrazy]

Re: Need Advice about wife

My wife actually likes my oven now, now that it's starting to look shapely and pretty. One of her women friends even thought it looked sexy. I can see why. It even cooks well and she likes that part too.

Does your WFO look sexy, or does it make you look sexy. I may need this clarified before I would use that as an argument with my wife. Maybe it makes your wife look sexy,. or your wife's friend. Or look sexy like a Ferrari looks sexy.

Some real potential here with this idea. Thanks Gene.